When children grow up in the context of safe and trusting relationships, and in a safe environment, they naturally develop an inner sense of safety.
Many people with a trauma history have not had many opportunities to experience a safe environment or relationships and therefore were unable to develop an internal sense of safety and security.
You may know intellectually that your current environment is safe, but still not feel safe and you may fear that something terrible is going to happen any minute.
If it’s hard for you to feel safe inside, you may find it useful to use your imagination to start helping your body feel safe (or at least safer). Imagination can be a powerful tool as it can actually produce changes in your physiology and help you feel calmer.
You can try the following idea (you can also click on the link for a guided practice):
https://soundcloud.com/marina-suarez-5/developing-an-inner-sense-of-safety
If it’s comfortable for you, close your eyes, or if you prefer you can just look down not focusing on anything in particular. Take a few moments to settle and then bring to your imagination a place you might have visited where you felt safe (or safer). If you can’t recall a place, you can just imagine it, it can be outdoors or indoors, spacious or really small and contained, whatever feels nice for you.
You can imagine being in the company of someone or a pet you feel safe and accepted by or you can be alone. This is about you feeling safe, so you know better than anyone else what feels nicer and you get to choose.
Once you chose the place and situation, spend some time getting a really good sense of it. Engage all your senses. What does it look like? Is it bright and sunny, or perhaps cloudy or rainy, maybe it’s night time. What are the predominant colours you see?
Are there noises you can hear or is it really quiet? What is the temperature? Is it cold or warm? Are you sitting, standing or lying down? Are you moving or are you still? Are there any smells you can identify?
If you chose to imagine someone or a pet to be there with you, get a felt sense of them too, using all your senses, the same way you did for the space. You may want to have certain objects that help you feel more comfortable, whatever they might be.
Don’t worry if it doesn’t feel perfect. This is your safe place and you get to make any changes you want, anytime you want. You can even experiment what it feels like to change things around and see what feels more comfortable.
When you feel settled enough, stay in that place and take a moment to notice how you feel. See if you notice any changes in your body, see if your breathing feels any different, maybe your muscles feel a little less tense, or your mind a bit less busy. Maybe you feel a little more relaxed, your shoulders might have dropped, ever so slightly.
Don’t look for drastic changes just see if you notice a tiny difference. Small changes over time make a real difference.
You can use this as a regular practice as a way of helping your body to start building and internal sense of safety. It takes practice sometimes until we can call it up when we need it, but it’s worth persisting.
Feel free to experiment with different places or change things around in your imagination as much as you want.
Remember, this is your space and you can use this as a resource anytime you are feeling unsettled, agitated, unsafe or your mind is racing.
